I rush out of work, almost staggering...... to take a deep healing breath. I sit here and I look at these clouds rolling by and I cry for the beauty of them. And in fact, a tear has escaped. It happened before I could roll it back in, to be the strong person I need to be. But who am I fooling?
Never have I felt more rooted to this spot, tethered to this earth as when I am under this kind of stress.
And I resent it, I want to be free of it and I wonder, how did I get here again?
And what's the reason. I wonder, what part of my character has God not yet chiseled out?
I would give anything to stay right here on this bench and not go in. To sit and dream, and let these clouds carry me away. It almost looks like I could hop from one to another......
Oh how I long to stay here for the rest of these twelve hours. Here I am again, Lord. My back against the wall......done under with stress and once again, you are the only One who can help. Others can sympathize and empathize, but only you can take this feeling away and put peace in its place.
I am waiting.....