Friday, August 24, 2012

Letting my yes be yes

"But let your statement be, 'Yes, yes ' or 'No, no'; anything beyond these is of evil. Matthew 5:37

waf·fle 2 (wfl) Informal
v. waf·fled, waf·fling, waf·fles
To speak or write evasively.
To speak, write, or act evasively about.
Evasive or vague speech or writing.

I have learned this one the hard way. I am someone who likes things peaceful and smooth. I don't like conflict and I am many times too quick to agree or not agree with something if it means not making waves, or making someone else happy. I want to please people. But in the long run, I end up not pleasing them or myself.

Many times in life I have found myself in the uncomfortable position of volunteering or saying yes or no to someone or something and then almost immediately regretting it. In my defense, I have to say that I have gotten better in this area.

I have only come to understand and appreciate what Jesus is saying here more and more as I have gotten older. What he is saying is: "Hey, you will save yourself and others a whole lot of grief if you just give a simple "Yes" or "No." If you vacillate and agree to something you really don't agree with or want, you will compromise your character and more than that, and this is the part that's really painful:

It is poor reflection on God's character as well.

Not to say that God's character can be changed because of what I do, it can't. But if I say I am a believer and people know that? They have a right to expect a certain amount of integrity.

And if people can't trust my word?

They can't believe what I say. And what I stand for is in question too.

I had a friend who always had to pray about everything before she agreed to it. Secretly, I used to think that was kind a cop out. A way to get out of doing things. But now?

I am starting to see the wisdom in it.

It saves a lot of time and trouble in the long run when I don't have to run around doing damage control. It makes others feel much more confident in me.

And me more confident in myself.

What do you think? Have you ever agreed to something and then been really, really sorry?


  1. Oh my word-YES! The horrible thing was, while I was doing the task I agreed to do, I had this running conversation in my head-"Oh I hate this! I don't want to do this! Why did I say yes?!" I ended up resenting my own inability to be myself and just wanting to please others, resenting the people that asked me to do it, feeling like I was a rotten Christian, and I think the end product was not as good as it could have been. The worst was-every time I saw it-I was reminded of my horrid attitude, and of course, that led to more condemnation. Since then I decided to say no to things I may have been qualified to do-but knew ahead of time that my attitude would not be right.
    It's a thing I need some work on-I guess you can tell that!

  2. Oh how I identify. I just had to back out of something I volunteered for and knew all along I didn't want to do it. I needed something extra to put on my work review to be honest. Oh, it was so not worth it. I am sorry you struggle with this, but sometimes it is a comfort to know others have the same struggle! Lori


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