Two to a car

 

 

 

But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, And He heard me from His holy hill. Psalm 3:3,4

 

This morning I went out to pray like a monk, I was glad there was a hood on my sweatshirt, because all of a sudden it has turned cold.....cold for here anyway. As I lit my "prayer lantern" I sank into my chair and bowed my head. There are so many things I am thankful for, why do I feel such despair at times? I have a good job and people who love me. I am doing some writing and there are actually people who get something out of what I write. I am constantly surprised by joy over that.

 

But there is another thing I have been fighting, and it's a big one. I hesitate to even write about it because I don't think I can put it into words. And yet I must because writing is my way out....my way up.

 

I've been fighting this thing. It's called "The Change." There is a reason they call it that. I wondered and wondered why I have felt this way and it suddenly hit me.

 

I am grieving. Grieving who I was before.

 

Who has taken my old happy life and what have they done with it?

 

As it hit me, tears gushed. And part of it was the relief of knowing. The other part is the not knowing. I don't know what waits on the other side of this tunnel. Every now and again normalcy touches down and I breathe a sigh of relief.

 

My faith holds me now. I howl like a wounded animal on the inside because I don't want anyone to hear.

 

I walk down the Christmas aisles at the store and I want to cry. Pumpkin pie filling makes me cry. People being kind to me makes me cry.

 

I drive on the freeway and I feel the white heat of anger lashing out. I call unsuspecting people all kinds of names they don't deserve. They are just trying to get home, after all.

 

I am losing what I fought so hard to get back when I starved myself.  The part of me that was always a reminder of health.....possibility....promise....life.

 

How do you let go of something you have had all your life? And who will I be on the other side of this.....will it make me less than I am right now?

 

How do you go about going through a change that will usher in the last phase of your life, especially when you still wear Miss Me jeans and buy your clothes in the junior section?

 

I got up and wiped my nose on my sleeve. And God gave me something, just a little vision of hope. I was sitting on the little train I used to ride at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk. It was two to a car....And in the seat beside me: Jesus rode.

 

And He promised he would be with me all the way through. And I know He will, He's a man of His word. Yes, there is much comfort in two to a car.

 

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Alzheimer's Diary.....A continuing lesson in love

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:14

I have probably tacked this verse onto the beginning of posts more often this year than any other. Have you put on your love today? This past year, I have had to start over time after time, day after day. As most of you know who read my blog on a regular basis, we are working on year two of Elaine's Mom living with us.

It's been tough, to say the least. Hygiene is an ongoing issue more and more. We are working on week 4 with no shower, again. The last time, Elaine had to physically get in the shower with her because she refused to put water on her head. And she was washing with shampoo. Incontinence is also a problem. She refuses to wear the undergarments so bedding has to be changed often....laundry done several times a day.

Because she has been increasingly combative, her dose of Anti-psych drug was doubled just this past week. We noticed the rage has been just barely contained....it's always just under the surface. The pacing and the agitation seem to go hand in hand.

It is disheartening and sobering for Elaine to realize that right now if her Mom were not on the Seroquel she would be in a lock down unit as we speak. Her Mom still knows very well where she is, but when her Doctor tells her that if she won't let people take care of her she has to go somewhere where they can, he is met with indifference, a shrug of her shoulders.

It has been a constant challenge for both of us to do that "putting on love" thing Paul is talking about. And I am on another trip to California to see my family on Sunday. It's hard to be the one always left behind. For two years, she has had to watch others travel, go on weekend trips, vacations. That is what caretakers face every day.......for them life has stopped. They feel just as chained as if they were in stocks.

And how can life still feel like it's at a standstill, when the workload never stops?

Please pray? For wisdom, and strength to bear up. To keep laughing somehow. To know when to say "when."

Pray for strength and grace for me as well. That I can be the right kind of support. Too often I feel like the check marks on my own personal report card are screaming out a big red "fail." But God knows my heart, thankfully.

I take comfort in the fact that He hears my prayers of forgiveness uttered after every exasperated blown out sigh......He knows we are all dust after all, nevertheless a kernel of God keeps us all preserved for eternity.

Praise God.

And more and more and more, we are craving the peace, the harmony that used to fill the house. We still have it for the most part, we just have to fight for it where before it was effortless.

Here is the magic formula that works for any and every situation:

Love + Peace = Harmony

I will need until every last breath to put it into practice.

Unwrapping His Promises

How long we wait, with minds as quiet as time.............Thomas Merton

And if you give yourself to the hungry
And satisfy the desire of the afflicted,
Then your light will rise in darkness
And your gloom will become like midday.
 “And the Lord will continually guide you,
And satisfy your desire in scorched places,
And give strength to your bones;
And you will be like a watered garden,
And like a spring of water whose waters do not fail.

“Those from among you will rebuild the ancient ruins;
You will raise up the age-old foundations;
And you will be called the repairer of the breach,
The restorer of the streets in which to dwell.

Isaiah 58:10-12

 
My time in the desert has taught me much. When the heat stretches on and you see no end, you long to escape it. You drive up north, you go to the coast, or you go to the theater or the mall. You learn to adjust what you do. You learn from the little creatures you see that somehow thrive, and it inspires you too to go on. This imagery is easy for us desert dwellers. But here, God is trying to teach a different kind of lesson.

A lesson for when the soul is parched and needs refreshing.

He is trying to teach us a new way of living for when life burns you out. We say, "I need a trip to the Spa," But He tells us we need to give to those who have less. New life, new energy, new hope is found when we do for others, and when we lean on Him in the doing. In a way, God is saying, "Get your mind off yourself and you will feel better."

But unless we also harness the power of the Holy Spirit, we will quickly be burned out. It's only when we join hands with the Creator that this regeneration and refreshment happen. The body might be beat, but inside the Spirit leaps.

In caretaking I have found this to be true. As soon as I stop harnessing God's power, I find my anger flaring up at all those little moments....a shirt getting stuck on the hanger, her pacing back and forth, her opening and closing the door 10 times.

I focus on a Motorhome that sits idle in storage for the lack of freedom to just get up and go. I lament the loss of freedom and say it's not fair. What is fair? People in Haiti are living in tents and have no clean water.

It wasn't fair the Jesus had to go to the cross but He did. And now despite everything I deserve, I get Heaven here and now. And for eternity. With that in view, I can be more than a conqueror.

Whatever we are going through here and now, it is only for a season. And there are blessings everywhere we turn when we have the Lord to refresh us in all those scorched places in life.

Let's unwrap His promises today, the basket is overflowing........

Home, where God is.

I was listening to the Gaither's again this morning on the way to work. There is only one problem with that. When I like a song I speed up and that is not so good for driving. "We Shall Rise" was the only song I ever remember my old Pastor requesting we sing twice. I can still see his perfectly Brylcreamed hair as he turned to us in the choir as we stood once more to sing. We raised the roof that day. 

I was thinking about how certain kinds of music make you feel like home. Something in your soul finds rest in it. It stirs up memories, emotions. Nature makes me feel like home too, it's like remembering our first home. Knowing that's how it should be, hearing that wind sigh in the treetops.

Later at work as I settled myself in front of a computer, (on my break of course), I felt still another sense of home. I never realized just how much a part of my life this has become. This checking in with all of you, my online friends. It's a bit like coming to your back kitchen door, and you getting out my favorite mug and pouring me a fresh brew. Exchanging news good and not so good, sharing laughter and tears as we reach across the table.

Fellowship. Community. Unity. Love. That's the Kingdom of God.

I can already feel eternity lapping at my feet like waves. Some days it is easy to know that this world is just a precursor of Heaven. The joy of the Holy Spirit confirms it.

I think of what finally home means.

No more goodbyes, no more plane trips, no more endings, only beginnings...... forever. We will already be there. When I think about eternity it blows my mind. I can't seem to come to grips with something that good lasting forever. I can't help but think that something or someone will ruin it all.

But God's promises are true, that we can count on. That's the hope I bring you today.

I love you, friends. I really do.

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4

Prayer for the Haiti Bloggers

"I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room,I was shivering and you gave me clothes,I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me." Jesus

 

 

As I eagerly read the posts coming in from the Haiti bloggers, I read their words and it felt like they were my words too, even though I am worlds away. I can't imagine what it would be like to be there. Last night I looked up at the stars, the same ones they were looking at  and I wondered what they were doing, what they were seeing and feeling.

 

I know I would never be the same.

 

As I unwrap His promises today I am assured of one thing, if we call ourselves born again believers, we don't have the luxury of not doing anything. Fear is one of the things that holds me back. I send my money to World Vision every month, happy to at least be doing something. I bring my bag of used clothes to the Hope Closet at church and I feel a nod from God. A small, warm quickening in my Spirit. And yet.......

 

If I were there? I know that all the words I thought I would have would be sucked right up inside me.

 

I pray for these who are there, seeing, feeling, touching.....being God's own hands and feet. It is the next best thing to being there.

 

I lift my small offering today.

 

Please join me.

 

Photo courtesy of Facebook/World Vision

When you feel de-valued

She heard the questions she has heard so many times before falling around her, and her own hollow answers bounce back against the walls.....the ones they wanted to hear. As she walked out, the real answers thundered around inside her head. Just once she wanted to give the real answers, not the ones pertaining to the company.

What grade are you?

What am I meat? If I were tuna I would be dolphin safe 100 percent albacore fillet baby!  USDA grade triple A. I am all but signed sealed delivered to Heaven, the fact that I am not there yet, means I am still breathing. God proved it with His mark of the Holy Spirit. I am a little lower than the angels, that's how the Bible describes me......that's what grade I am. Take that.

Do you have any aspirations of higher learning?

What kind of question is that? Of course I do. I hope and pray that I am learning a little bit more each day I am on this earth as God in His great mercy grants me the time. I would spend everyday in a classroom if I could, but I really do need to pay bills. I believe in improving myself and my mind because God gave it to me to use, not to waste. I would go to writing classes, music history classes, and religion classes everyday if I could and be a professional student.....I have motivation and I look forward to getting up in the morning , I am not a slothful unmotivated person when it comes to learning, despite what my resume says.

The truth is, there is something not right about this 'ol world system and we all know it. It is broken. Many times the workplace pits us one against another, and there must be a system of measurement used to set us apart. Too many times, this system makes us feel de-valued as people.

As as result, we walk out of meetings feeling two feet tall. But here is the truth.......God numbers every hair on our head.

"Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows. Luke 12:7

And even though we are living in a dark world, we are heading into a world of light, where God is king........"for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light" Ephesians 5:8

This ol world is groaning under the weight of sin and the curse and that snake still slithers in the grass though he knows his time is short.

We are all a spark of divine fixed with an eternal destiny....all of us a combo plate of heaven and hell.  

As I stood at the counter this morning, it felt good to say "No meat" for my breakfast sandwich. Though I know that meat is permitted and God has called it all good, I also know that in the beginning, animals were meant for companionship and not food.  

Way back when, when God presented them to Adam and he named each one. I like to think he put his hands on each of their heads when He did it.

 "And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name." Genesis 2:18,19

And God called it all good. And it still is.

A bus filled with blessing

They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. Psalm 1:3

She had almost forgotten about the application she had filled out for the bus driving position......almost but not quite. She was sitting by the computer when the phone lit up with an incoming call. The phone is turned all the way down so her Mom won't run and answer it. In the past she had agreed to things over the phone "Oh, yes, you can come and service the air conditioner...." It has happened before.

It was the Apache Junction school district calling. She couldn't believe her ears when he said, "How soon can you come in and see us?" For years, every now and then we would pass a bus and I would hear her say, "I would love to do that."

For the past year and a half, her Mom has been her full time job, and it has been hard, especially for someone who has worked all their life.

So she went, and of course they loved her. Especially when they found out about her driving experience. They wanted her so badly they even pulled strings to get her in the August session of training.

And the schedule is such that she can come home between routes to check on her Mom........and, it's only just around the corner!

"This," she said, "Is the first job that I have felt in a long time that is from God."

I have waited for this, I have prayed for this.....for my dear friend who lives her whole life for others.

Whose hands are still partially numb from her last project for someone else.

Last night we sat at a restaurant as pictures came through my phone......there were two completed Mr. Potato heads, one my brother did and one my niece did. I smiled as I read the texts. "Sometimes, you just have to take time out to play Mr. Potato head with your girl," he says.

As I scroll through, the phone rings in my hand and it's my Mom.

"I was just having a glass of wine and thinking of you," she said. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing," she said, and she laughed. "Well," I said, "I happen to think it's a good thing, since I am having one too." And we laughed together and she told me about her day. And I told her about Elaine's new job.....

She whooped and hollered over the phone........."Oh, that is so great! She is just right for that job."

Later I get a text from my brother. My Mom must have told him....."CONGRATULATIONS to Elaine, Wooooooohooooooo. Bus driver for kids? Perfect. I am so happy."

This, I think, is what it's all about.

Rejoicing with those who rejoice. And I think of what a cornucopia is life. Some days so full of hardship you just want to sit in a corner and never come out, and then, blessings so rich that all you can do is lift your hands skyward.

Praise God from who all blessings flow.

Big Red

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

I hold it to my chest, knowing what it contains……..all the mystery and words of life. I felt the power it held as I pressed it close. I would open it, but not yet.


Content in the weight of memory within, I hold it close and feel all the years behind it. It was my first real study Bible, one I bought during a Walk through the Prophets study at my church. It was the most beautiful book I had ever seen. The day I carried it home was April 19,1980.


When I first got it, I devoured it. I read it for hours. I loved the delicate rattle of the pages and the gilded edges when they caught the light of the lamp.

All these years, it has been by my side, though there were years when I left it untouched on the shelf. Even so, I knew the words of life that it contained. I had felt that lifeblood of its pulse flowing through my life. I could never deny it.

For these words are alive with the very breath and Spirit of God.

I have other versions now, but when I need to feel the hope of all that God has brought me through, the Red Bible, “Big Red” I call it, comes out. It is the best prescription I can think of for a heavy heart. It's amazing really, how I can feel better just by holding it. The words within hold the healing, the hope. I know that without cracking the cover.

It holds memory, it holds life, it holds me.

The verses highlighted in yellow, the ones I clung to when I did my first solo in church, the personal notes I scrawled in the back on special days, things I never want to forget are there.

This old friend is in me and I am in it, I feel it as I hold it close. Tears have spilled on its pages and they do now too, as I remember the times it brought me back from darkness, death. Notes of mine are co-mingled with my Mom’s from when she borrowed it. That makes it even more precious.

I think of all the promises held in the Bible, and how each and every one is true. It is the one thing we can always count on. What in the world gives us that kind of hope? In the beginning was the word……and the word was God……and even beyond eternity it will still be there.

Last year it came unglued from the spine and I had to glue it back on…….and the leather cover is more pliable with every passing year. But its still the most beautiful book on my shelf.

I am celebrating His promises today, won't you join me?

Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away. Matthew 24:35

So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever." Isaiah 40:8

I tell you the truth, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Matthew 5:18

Why aren't we working at our passion?

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before......1 Thessalonians 4:11

Maybe it is the line of work I am in, but everywhere I go I hear it, "If I won the lottery I would do such and such......" most of the time, they would not be doing what they are doing now. What they are doing now is putting in time, just like me. They work at something that is not their passion and yet due to economic reasons they can't quit.

All over the world, there are hoards of us going to work already mentally exhausted. We want to get to the end of the week.....and why?  Because we are not working at something that gives us any true satisfaction. For that we have the weekend. We do the things we love on our days off.

Tomorrow, a co-worker and I will both return to work after being on vacation. I can speak for myself and I think for her as well when I say that we would both rather be somewhere else. We work in a highly competitive field, that of technology. The entire culture is built around being better, faster and cheaper than our competitors. And that ideology trickles down to us, the employees.

We feel we have lost our value. Our identity.

We can never be satisfied with what we were last year, last month, last week. That can really wreak havoc on your mental state. This is not to say that we don't appreciate our jobs, we do. Each day I thank God for the job He has given me, and yet each day I ask myself,  how can I glorify God in my workplace when I am in the midst of burnout?

And why do so many work all their lives to retirement in jobs that they feel passionless about?

What is it about the American dream that is so alluring, so compelling, that we are willing to sacrifice what we love on its altar in order to get it? I have owned very beautiful homes, one of them in a pine forest on a custom lot with three stories reaching to the sky. But the truth is, this little two bedroom place has felt more like home.

I have learned to be content with less. I have grown close to the Lord here, it is a happy, peaceful place.

This week I will spend 48 hours of my life at work. It is 48 hours I will never get back. I think about all the people I have heard who have quit their day jobs and followed their passions. I remember the story of the big CEO who lost his job, went to work at Starbucks, found his life, and wrote a bestselling book about it.

By writing this post I am acting on my passion, but the challenge remains, how do I put that same passion into what I will be doing for 12 hours tomorrow?

Again I think, we were made for more than this.

We were made for abundant life................Jesus promised it.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Full bodied praise

I love them that love me.........and those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17

This is when the rubber meets the road.....summer is digging in it's heels and we are no longer greeted with cool mornings. We have to dig in too. And it's not all bad. The desert makes you tough. It's already hot and sticky in my prayer closet this morning.

As I finish my prayer time, I am ready. I live the words as I put on my shoes to make my trek around the park. "No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:27

As I walk, feel my body move, I am so thankful I can do this. I think of dear Briley and Kathryn whom I sit with when I volunteer in the Extrordinary Life kids group, bound to wheelchairs. I think they are the real heroes, they, and their dear parents.

I pick up my pace and think of an old Glen Frey song I played a lot when I worked out........for those of you under 40, he was one of the Eagles......the words come back and the years fall away:

I'm outside runnin' in the mornin' sun
No matter what it takes, I know I'm gonna get it done
I'm pushin' up the hill, fightin' through the pain
Everything to lose, everything to gain
I know I'm on my way, I'm on my way to number one

Feelin' good, gettin' tight
'Cause I'm livin' right, livin' right
Up in the mornin', asleep at night
I'm livin' right, livin' right

Out of the darkness, into the light and I'm

livin right, livin right.

I thought of the worship leader yesterday and what he said, why he wears no shoes when he is up there leading the music. He says it reminds him that it's Holy ground he stands on, and it is a way of keeping his focus on the Lord and not on all the people. He said he sees the ones sleeping, and the ones playing games on their Iphones, the halfhearted worshippers.

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them." Matthew 18:20

He is right, the ground is Holy.

The sweat is pouring down now, and I hear the words of Mercy Me singing.......

"Separated until the veil was torn.

The moment that hope was born

and guilt was pardoned once and for all.

Captivated but no longer bound by chains

left at an empty grave

the sinner and the sacred resolved

And this is it, this is full bodied praise, right here and now. How right he is, the ground here is Holy. I think, this is what keeps me going. He keeps us, day after day. We have the strength to get up and do it again somehow, carried along by His Spirit.

This is the promise I cling to, and its true: "The Lord preserves all who love Him....." Psalm 145:20

Counting the gifts and the promises today, with these fine folks.......

Living on the Edge

I look at the clock.....3:10 AM. I lay back down, my heart wonders whether to pick up its beat, but I breathe deep and it settles back down.....Not time to get up yet. I know I won't go back to sleep, but it is enough that I can lay here for awhile longer. I don't pray, I just turn over. When the small hand approaches four and the big one nears 12 I hit the button before it has a chance to go off.

I turn my phone over face up to check for messages first thing. With folks in their eighties living in another state, you never know....I fear the message, the voice mail...."We took Dad to Urgent Care last night.....or Mom fell." Give us a call when you get up. But there are none. Thank you, Lord.

Not for the first time I panic. How much longer will I have them, and what will my life look like when they are gone? I see a gaping hole where they once were, bigger than life. Always there. "You don't have to worry," my Mom always says, "the Lord is taking care of us." But I do. How can I not?

I hear the morning traffic already churning up for the commute. They sound angry today. I hear a crotch rocket tearing down the road and the sound cuts through my head like a buzz saw. Coffee......oh, I need coffee.

I pull onto the freeway and join the morning communion mass. At 5:00 AM it is not nearly full force yet, but it is working itself up to a fever pitch that will reach its peak around 7 o' clock. I am thankful it is not too bad yet, at this hour.

Help me, Lord......just for today. Just for this 12 hours. I am living on the edge and I never did like the edge. It is stressful at this new place at work. Our little group was thrown in with the big dogs and the heat is being turning up. I think of Daniel in the lions den, Shadrach Meshach and Abednego in the fiery furnace and I know my little stress is really nothing. But it feels big.

I approach my exit and start to turn off the freeway when I notice a truck trying to speed up and get there before me. "Not so fast buddy," I think. This little yellow bug may look like something Tweety bird would drive, but it has some get up and go......it has a killer overdrive, it floats over 80 mph.

Maybe he feels on the edge this morning too.

About that time, I hear my Dad's voice in my head say...."Everybody wants to be a Nascar driver now" and he's right. But you kind of have to or they will run right over you.

As I pull into the Intel site, I notice a truck ahead of me. It has DVLMAN on the licence plate. Does that stand for Devilman? And why would you put that on your plate?

I guess maybe  for the same reason I put my Jesus sticker on my back window. You have to align yourself with someone. I am just really glad I am aligning myself with Jesus not that other guy.

It is a battle in the parking lot as well, everyone jockeying for the few covered spaces. I didn't get one today.

I turn the car off and enjoy the few moments of quiet before I go in. And  once more, I thank the Lord for being here with me on the edge. I imagine that He's sitting beside me. I feel His arm go around my shoulders as He looks at me sideways and smiles, and I know this promise is true.

For God has said, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you." Hebrews 13:5

I once was lost.....

“My people have been lost sheep.

Their shepherds have led them astray;

They have turned them away on the mountains.

They have gone from mountain to hill;

They have forgotten their resting place. Jeremiah 50:6

Ever feel lost? I had a lost day yesterday. I felt misplaced at my workplace. All this restructuring, tearing down walls, closing off areas, all in the name of reorganization. And it does look nice, very nice. I'd say it was a vast improvement, except I couldn't find anyone. Nobody sits where they did before. They are reshuffling us all. Soon we will be moving next door to a new building. This place where I have been for about 5 years new will probably be used for storage.....And the other day I came in and the landscapers had been here in our back patio. They removed many shrubs and moved our poor Intel cat's food and sleeping igloo so it was right out in the open. She was nowhere to be found.

I know how she feels.......I was wandering around looking for our admin yesterday too. I finally found her at the very end of the day. And Steve, my faithful good soul of a buddy, who takes care of the poor adandoned cats people dump in our parking lot, has also moved next door. I found him on the phone, it was good to hear a familiar voice.

In this life, it's easy to feel lost sometimes. Let's face it, we are foreigners here. It's like someone has shifted all the pieces of the puzzle and we have to figure out where we belong again. But then, my Father reminds me just where I belong. My place is forever secure, safely resting in Him. I know where I belong....but sometimes He has to remind me. He knows what a scary place this is.......

And what a comfort it is when He does remind me.

When everything around you looks or feels unfamiliar, remember where you belong. Settle back into His loving arms, and know that....

He will never let you go.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

image source: http://www.uproxx.com/

The Miracle of the Promise

A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis

I was thinking this morning.....how it's all a miracle. No matter what we have to go through, we are here. Someone had to think of us to bring us into existence. And maybe even if they didn't God did. It is a miracle that I believe, that any of us believes. And not only believe, because even the demons believe, but put that belief into something that started with a decision.

If someone had never taken me to church or told me about God, I have never have known that there was even a decision to be made.

Or that there was a God......and that He wanted a relationship with me.

If someone in your life thought it was important that you go to church, you need to thank God for them today. That they took you.

Maybe it was a stumbling blinding path they were tripping on themselves, or maybe it was a rock solid firm foundation. Whatever it was, they got you ready and somewhere in their hearts they thought it was right.......when many others were doing other things you were swinging your feet on a bench where you heard "the old old story, about how Christ left His home in glory."

and it planted a seed you could never quite forget.

I am thanking God today that no matter what I go through in this life, God cracked my heart open with the light of His love......and in all these years He has never stopped. Because I heard and answered the knock of a God who wanted to know me and live with me forever. And you.

"For the promise is for you and your children and for all who are far off, as many as the Lord our God will call to Himself." Acts 2:39

picture from google images

Life is Good Because He is.......

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to Sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves......

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ,

to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory....

 And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory. Ephesians 1: 3-14

There is nothing I can add to this!

A repost from 2009......

Jeremiah 31:1-6

 

1 "At that time," declares the LORD,

"I will be the God of all the clans of Israel, and they will be my people."

2 This is what the LORD says:

"The people who survive the sword

will find favor in the desert;

I will come to give rest to Israel."

3 The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying:

"I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with loving-kindness.

4 I will build you up again

and you will be rebuilt, O Virgin Israel.

Again you will take up your tambourines

and go out to dance with the joyful.

5 Again you will plant vineyards

on the hills of Samaria;

the farmers will plant them

and enjoy their fruit.

6 There will be a day when watchmen cry out

on the hills of Ephraim,

'Come, let us go up to Zion,

to the LORD our God.' "

When I read Jeremiah 30-33 the compassion of God seemed to leap from the page this morning as I was reading in my "prayer closet" I selected just a portion above....when I think of how many times Israel turned their backs on God and yet, He reached out to them with hope and healing, longing for their restoration.
What are you exiled from today? A child, a church, God, a marriage, a friendship? It seems in life there are many forms of exile we face, but God seeks to restore us; always there is hope. Cling to His word, there is promise there.
I close with this verse, again from Jeremiah, 33:3...."Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things,which you do not know."

Holding out hope

“Come now, let’s settle this,”says the Lord.“Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow.Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool. Isaiah 1:18

Isn't it wonderful to know that we have a reasonable God? One who wants to know the deepest desires of our hearts? One who wants and seeks a relationship with us?

We serve a God of reconciliation. One who wants to be involved in every aspect of our lives. One who already knows our thoughts but wants to hear them from us in our own words. He delights in that.

People everywhere are seeking something, but too often they are asking the world to supply something it never can. Real Peace. But not the kind the world offers. The kind only God can give. Real and lasting peace. The kind of peace that comes despite every circumstance life throws at us.

Too often we look to the world for answers......we think the best and brightest humanity has to offer is good enough. It reminds me of that old song, "Looking for love in all the wrong places." When we look to the world for our answers we will come up empty every time.

Only when we begin to entertain the possibility of something bigger than ourselves, hope blooms like the crack of the dawn spilling over a mountain.

This is our future, and it is indeed, a future filled with hope. The world doesn't have the answers or the hope we need for our future, but God does. This is the future God has for us......

People from many nations will come and say,

“Come, let us go up to the mountain of the Lord,

to the house of Jacob’s God.

There he will teach us his ways,

and we will walk in his paths.”

For the Lord’s teaching will go out from Zion;

his word will go out from Jerusalem.

The Lord will mediate between nations

and will settle international disputes.

They will hammer their swords into plowshares

and their spears into pruning hooks.

Nation will no longer fight against nation,

nor train for war anymore. Isaiah 2:3,4

Hundreds of years before Jesus was born, Isaiah prophesied exactly to the letter all the facts concerning the birth of Jesus.


The rest is history.

God has always had hope for the world.......and that hope came through Jesus.

I wish you a day filled with His peace today wherever your path takes you and that you have a real sense of His presence.......

Snippets of life

"you can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." — Frederick Buechner

This world is made up of little snippets of life....the life we live every day, made up of moment upon moment, memory upon memory. I look back at 20 years aghast, because I really don't know where it has gone. Time is passing by.......sometimes so fast it makes my head spin.
 
Writers and photographers feel a need, sometimes an urgent need to capture these moments of life, all the joy and beauty and pain, lest they be lost forever. Others live them as deeply as they can, so that the memory and the goodness can be taught and lived and passed on to others, like living beacons of wisdom, they catch life like a spark catches a dry timber. Others seem to glide by life and never notice anything....they remain untouched by it all.
 
Sometimes we think we see a glimpse of the future and we don't much like it, so we hastily immerse ourselves in the past or get real busy in the here and now. I got a little taste of this the other day at Border's standing in line along with all the other book lovers to cash in on their misfortune. I looked around and suddenly I thought of a world with no bookstores and I shuddered. Is this our future? Is Barnes and Noble next? A tremor went down my spine.
 
What kind of a world would it be? No public place to go to sip our coffee, cozy up by the window with a stack of books, sharing our treasures with friends. If that were gone, a very important part of our community would be lost. But then, a flicker of hope. Maybe this will be good for the little used bookstore on the corner.
 
Maybe this will bring the independent bookstores of my youth back. Well, I can dream can't I?
 
I don't think this would have impacted me like it did, except that I just finished a book called The Last Christian. The year is 2088 and everyone lives immersed in virtual reality, hooked up to what they call "The Grid." People don't travel much, they all schedule meetings in VR anywhere they choose. They don't read real books, the access them on the Grid.

They think this life is great, but they are all empty, joyless, for they have also eliminated God in this world they have created. They are much too advanced for God, you see.
 
Well happily, I can say that we are not there yet. Most of us are still immersed in the real world in all its glorious and living color. And God is still very much alive to many Americans, thankfully.
 
Yesterday was a strange day. I felt like I was walking around under a lid of oppression. I felt exhausted and mentally drained....worn out. I am worried about my Mom, who had another possibly cancerous growth removed from her leg. I automatically think the worst, knowing her brother died of melanoma. It makes me think of all the years I have been away from her and I wonder how much time we have left.
 
Yet I rejoice in what I know to be true, He has plans for us......and they are all good. "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

and not only that..........For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. 2 Timothy 1:7

I love that, only the King James uses the phrase "sound mind."
Hope is alive in me because God's promise gives me a whole future of sound minded days......starting today.

God's Place of Rest

"These are the words of God, the God of Israel, to you, Baruch. You say, 'These are bad times for me! It's one thing after another. God is piling on the pain. I'm worn out and there's no end in sight.' Jeremiah 45:2 The Message

"Just how much more does God expect me to take?"

You feel out of control, like one of those plate spinners......one false move and they all come crashing down. "I've got it, I've got it!" you say.....but you know that just under the surface lurks an erupting volcano. You feel like any little remark can set you off. When you pass a Dunkin Donuts or In-N-Out Burger you feel the drive-through sweeping you in like the pull of the tides. (Or in my case, the local Walgreens for a bag of Whopper Malted Eggs)

Tears come easily, and so does unexpected anger. This is sometimes what caregiving feels like.

But God's place of rest is there in the midst of it. He is ready and waiting to do a work in you and me, but only if we release it to Him. He longs to take our burden, but He knows that sometimes He has to "pile it on" so that we will have no choice but to dump it at His feet.

We don't have to take it all on........He will.

It is so hard to tell someone that.
Someone who is trying so hard, dealing with so much.
It feels like one more thing they have to do.

It feels like we are saying, "Just tie a knot and hang on, sister....."

Except that they aren't just any old words, they are God's words, and His words are backed by His promises.

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him;I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him.With long life I will satisfy him, And show him My salvation.” Psalm 91:14-16

Lord, I pray for everyone today who feels overwhelmed and beaten up by the world. I pray that they will trust You with their every burden and care, and they will find that place of rest for their souls that you have promised them in Your word. Hide them under your mighty wings today, as the mother eagle shelters her young and give them the faith they need to release everything to You, knowing that You will give them peace in exchange. Amen

Great music in church yesterday, moments of refreshment and peace, little joys of flowers in the desert, singing into the phone and making someone smile, a good night's sleep, a refreshing rain on the roof, unexpected moments of exhilaration, a great lunch at Chilies, 39 dollars from coinstar I didn't expect I had, a time of peace at Starbucks while blogging.....
#668-#678

Peace Be Still.....

"He said to them, "Why are you afraid, you men of little faith?" Then He got up and rebuked the winds and the sea, and it became perfectly calm. The men were amazed, and said, "What kind of a man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey Him?" Matthew 8:26,27

The people of Japan are experiencing the horrific effects of a massive earthquake. The footage is heart-breaking. To see homes, buildings, streets washed away is devastating. It was unexpected and there is never any preparation for something like that....It happened around 2 PM right in the middle of a work day. The fear is resulting Tsunamis up and down the coast.....

The truth is, there are all kinds of Tsunamis in life. My best friend feels like she is standing in the midst of one right now. She is under so much stress she actually forgets to breathe. She has the burden of taking care of both elderly parents, neither one of whom can get around, one suffering from Dementia and one from Alzheimer's. Most of the time, they don't talk, they bark orders.

She feels like her world has stopped, and it pretty much has. Life is going on normally without a hitch for others, but hers has stalled out. There is no time for herself. And it is affecting her health.....Life can feel very much like you are standing in the middle of an earthquake that is still going on. Nothing feels stable, nothing can be planned, because the job is never over.........Whether it is a natural disaster, or a family problem, the symptoms are the same. Stress is stress, and the body doesn't know the difference. It screams, fight or flight.

She longs to hear the words of Jesus, "Peace Be Still." Oh, how she wishes she could be still, just for a moment. How she longs to be in that boat with Him.

Hear the wind cease.....feel the torrential wind die down......hear the sound of the waves lapping gently against the boat.....

But she can. As believers we have the assurance that He is keeping us. That He is here with us, this He has promised us. His peace is for us. And we have help....."But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid." John 14: 26,27

Know right now........He is keeping you. You may not feel Him there, but you know He is. You have not blown up, hit anyone, exploded, and you are still laughing at times. He is keeping you.....and He will continue to keep you. Sometimes it just boils down to that. And one minute, one hour at a time.

When I was writing this post I remembered this song that was popular back in the seventies....

"Put your hand in the hand of the man who stilled the water

Put your hand in the hand of the man who calmed the sea

Take a look at yourself and you can look at others differently

By puttin your hand in the hand of the man from Galilee...."

(As recorded by Ocean) GENE MACLELLAN 1970

I am so glad I know that Man, and so glad my friend does too.......Please pray for those in Japan today and all others affected by stress of all kinds. If you can, help them carry their burden today.....

Settling into His will

Be on your guard [constantly alert], and watch and pray; for you do not know when the time will come. Mark 13:33

If you have ever missed a plane or a train, you know how disappointing it feels. Commuter trains are especially fast. In the two minutes it took to buy the paper I just had to have, the train left me in the dust.

Ever feel like there is some big definitive thing God wants you to do and you either haven't figured it out yet or He hasn't informed you what it is? If you grew up in church like me, you probably heard that "God has a plan for your life" a hundred or so times. Well, He does have a plan. He wants you to know Him and He wants you to walk hand in hand with Him for rest of your life, all the way into eternity. End of story.

Once we have done that, He will lead us in the other big decisions of life......."in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6

We don't have to feel that God's plan is on a train and we just missed it. His timing is perfect and as long as I am praying and seeking His will, I can rest in the fact that He will lead me in the right direction. God is extremely creative! If I miss an opportunity, He will supply another one. He is extremely patient. He doesn't hold His plan above our heads waiting to see if we can figure it out, it is all mapped out perfectly in His Word!

The challenge is resting confidently in His will as we begin to live it out.  These promises are ours to help us on the way.......

"This is what the LORD says— your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: “I am the LORD your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go." Isaiah 48:17

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps." Proverbs 16:9

"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." Psalm 32:8

photo from google images