Thursday, March 31, 2011

Twenty five years down the road........

Facebook find #1

I met her at Jazzercise and we formed an instant connection. We loved working out, buying all the latest workout togs at the local dance store. We watched movies together and she and her husband attended church....the same church I went to. They had their problems, like any couple. They had an adorable little baby boy and moved into a nice home. It seemed they had a charmed life. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and we had a great time selecting dresses and doing all the fun stuff that goes along with it.

After my husband passed away unexpectedly, we parted ways a bit. Maybe she didn't know what to say to me and  maybe I should have tried harder to approach her. Maybe my tragedy made her uncomfortable. I still saw her at Jazzercise, where she brought her new little girl, Jordan. She had golden ringlets and huge blue eyes. A perfect child for a perfect couple, in a perfect life. Things were no longer the same between us.

I found her again on Facebook just yesterday. I didn't "friend" her, I think some friendships are best left in the past. She is divorced and both she and her husband are remarried from what I could see. Her little girl is no longer innocent. Her profile page was loaded with a few shall I say, very colorful expressions. Nothing about God. Nothing about church. But she is beautiful, and my old friend still looks great too. But it saddened me. I know that with divorce comes sadness, pain. And we were close once.

A second Facebook find.......

Her Dad did my husband's memorial service. He was a wonderful and kind man, with a great sense of humor. I attended the church where he was a Pastor shortly before moving from California. I will never forget how often he used to stop by my folks house to see me after Jody died. He was softspoken and often emotional, a very sensitive man. He was not the best preacher but nobody cared, the love he and his wife had for the Lord shone through in their love for others. They had two daughters, and later, twin sons. Shortly before I moved, the daughter got married to a great guy, a youth Pastor. She borrowed my wedding veil which I was overjoyed to let her use.

Flash forward to now.......She is still married to the same man all these years later, and they have two or three kids. On the FB news feed I saw that her husband, Rick just finished another missions trip to Africa, where I guess they have been several times. When I read of her life, I was happy for her parents, because I know they don't have to worry about her life. She and her husband belong to the Lord. On her profile there was nothing you couldn't show anyone, including her parents. Things like camping, coffeeshops, scrapbooking, and no swear words.

Two lives, two reactions. One of sadness, one of joy and hope.

I know what I got was at best an incomplete snapshot of what is really going on......but I think it told me a lot. Only time will tell how it plays out for any of us, but with God's grace we do the best we can. We know who waits for us at the end of the road....

"Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers." 1 Timothy 4:16


  1. Great observations! Of the first, there are daddy issues. I'm thinking there were other reasons why that friendship fell a part and keeping you at arms length was best to hide what was going on in her life. Sometimes, it's easier to allow the sin rather than the friend who might have made a difference. :o)

    The second observation reminds me how important it is for family to stay together in God.

  2. I think you're right- you can tell a lot about someone based on their facebook page. You can also tell a lot about someone based on how much they post (in other words, how much time they are spending on facebook). The questions we can all ask ourselves are: 1) Am I representing Christ by my posts?; and, 2) Am I stewarding my time well? Even if our pages contain clean, moral content, I know that I'm guilty of spending far too much time online, which is sin when I'm neglecting other more important tasks. Thanks for this reminder today!

  3. Great comments, thank you.....I was just thinking of how we encourage others by what we put online, not even realizing who may be reading ;-0

  4. I love this post Lori. I love the way that you spoke about these two people, with love and compassion. This post really shows us what a life devoted to Jesus is. You looked beneath the surface of the facebook pages and saw the real people there.

  5. thank you Andie, part of me wants to contact friend #1 but I am still on the fence about it. Prayer is what is needed, I think :-) Lori

  6. Thank you for sharing these Facebook stories Lori! It's sad what you shared about the first friend. You wonder how she's feeling inside now. And the second is awesome. I didn't realize you lost your husband. I'm so sorry.

    Blessings and love,

  7. Hey your welcome, I do wonder about my friend and my prayers are with her now that I have glimpsed a bit into her life :-) Yes, it was a long time ago now, but still loss is loss. Though time heals, as you know, grief makes it's mark on us. What a reunion we will all have in Heaven! Lori


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