Tuesday, March 29, 2011
One step at a time.....
My days off have become a bit different. They used to be somewhat free-form and abstract, now they are more task oriented. I had tasks before, but now they are oriented around someone else, not me. When you take on the role of caretaker that's what happens. At some point in life we all find ourselves in that role. I think there should be a Caregiver's Anonymous Club. Alzheimer's and Dementia needs a special group all its own.
Yesterday I was exhausted by noon, and all of it was mental. I lay down and slept blissfully for about 30 minutes in the middle of the day......It was wonderful.
If someone had seen the flowing dialogue in my mind as I went through the day they would have thought, "Surely, this is no Christian." I drove 60 MPH in a 45 MPH zone because I was so anxious to be home. I said swear words in my head at other drivers. I found myself tempted to lie about what day it was because I knew she wouldn't know the difference in order to get out of Bingo. Don't worry, I didn't. The truth of the matter is that some people expect you to act like Joel Osteen all the time if you are a Christian. Truth be told, I bet he has his moments too.
The difference is, we have the Holy Spirit to help us in those times where we feel out of control. Someone to help us in our weakness. So we pray, we take some deep breaths, we confess our sinful thoughts, and we go on. Step by step, task by task. My Mom once confessed to a friend that she loved Vodka Martinis.....She gasped and said, "But you're a Christian!" To which my Mom said, "Yes, but that has nothing to do with my taste buds!" Precisely why she has never kept it in the house. She has been a caregiver all her life, and I am sure there are times when she would have liked to pour a stiff drink in the middle of the day. That's reality. God understands that, and that is why He knew we would need the help of the Holy Spirit, and each other.
Because sometimes life just gets a bit overwhelming.
That's why I sent out the prayer SOS yesterday morning. Thank you to the absolutely wonderful responses I got, (you know who you are). One of the best things about being in the family of believers is the wonderful prayer support. The day ended up much better than it started.....So, thank you.
"We always thank God for all of you and continually mention you in our prayers. We remember before our God and Father your work produced by faith, your labor prompted by love, and your endurance inspired by hope in our Lord Jesus Christ." 1 Thessalonians 1:2,3