In the midst of my "not so good" day, I saw when I opened my lunch.
And I remembered......
Yesterday didn't start out so good. Shortly after I got to work, my supervisor came up and questioned me about "an incident."
It seems there is one who has it out for us and this morning she left another nugget behind. It was a treasure she mined from somewhere, and then sent it out to her OM and ours. She wanted to share the wealth. We launched our own investigation and could find nothing out of the ordinary.
No doubt about it, sometimes the stress at work can be toxic. In every area I hear the same thing:
"So and so won't do their job so I can't take a break"
"So and so made me feel like an idiot last time she trained me"
"So and so wouldn't even answer my phone, while I ran downstairs to get some food"
In every case, the complaints are valid and true. I know the people in question.
At certain workstations you can almost feel the tension crackling in the air, and yesterday, after "the episode" I was on edge.
I have heard that the lady in question does this wherever she goes. We have notes left at our station. Nasty grams I call them. I haven't had to deal with a personality quite like her before at work, so this is new to me, but I am determined to win her over.
I feel sad that someone is that determined to catch others in the wrong. Makes me wonder what she is hiding. Or what is missing in her life that she feels the need to do this. I am determined to be a peace maker in this situation.
And then I worried all day about my car. Something is wrong and it may be major. And I didn't know whether it was still under warranty. Big dollar signs if it's not.
I go downstairs and see the huddled masses crouched over their lunches, talking, eating.....some in meetings, some catching a break before they go back to work. All of them treasured by God, every last one. I am thinking of getting out of this crowd.......sitting in my warm quiet car sounds so good.
It is when I am unwrapping my sandwich that I see it. And suddenly just for that moment, God breaks through. I see the homemade bread and it conjures a sweet and precious memory. I think of the first time we made it together this year. Elaine had never made bread from scratch.
Oh how she laughed at me, getting all involved in the dough. Memories washed over me, of my Grandma in the kitchen. Of walking in and seeing every size and shape of dough creation piled on the counter. I thought of crisp fall days and bread just out of the oven.
She watched me knead......."You gotta feel this," I said. And as I felt that familiar texture when it's still a little sticky but it's just the right kind of elastic, I said...."Yeah, baby!" and then gave a huge sigh. She asked if I wanted a cigarette. Honestly it felt a little naughty. I never realized how much I missed it!
My heart lightens like it has been suddenly been caught by a helium balloon lifted into the clouds and a smile stretches across my face right there in front of the microwave at work.
It was a God moment.
And that evening I prayed as my relief came in. I was calm. And so was she. I brought up the issue. Turns out she was resending the same report she sent out a few weeks ago. There was no "new incident."
I was a peacemaker, and it felt good.
Not only that, I found out my car is still under warranty.
God is good.......all the time.