Fall whisperings....

No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace
as I have seen in one autumnal face
Autumn quote by John Donne

In autumn when the trees are brown
The little leaves come tumbling down
They do not make the slightest sound
But lie so quietly on the ground
Until the wind comes puffing by
And blows them off towards the sky.

The winds will blow their own freshness into you,
and the storms their energy,
while cares will drop away from you
like the leaves of Autumn.
"Fall Poem" by John Muir

Impossible situations.....

I have been contemplating a life-changing move back to California, my home state. Countless hours have been spent in prayer about this for awhile now. I am missing my folks; time is more precious now that there is less of it. And there is a special little six year old girl who tugs at my heart. She has been a very late talker and every word she says is precious to hear. When kids with special needs reach milestones it seems to mean so much more. She and her Grandpa have a standing date for ice-cream most days after school.

I know she loves me; I know because her face lights up when she sees me, but she hasn't hugged me yet, and that breaks my heart. She did cling to my legs once, so I think she knows that I am safe, and I belong to the clan. I know that if I were there more she would see me less as a visitor and more like family; always I carry around like a weight the moments that I am missing with her.

My good sense tells me it is craziness, lunacy. Leaving a good job with benefits is not something you do lightly in these times.....My home state is bankrupt, among other things. Also, as the media keeps telling me THERE ARE NO JOBS. But it is home to me just the same; just as Arizona has become to me now.

But God is not bankrupt, He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. Is there anything too difficult for Him? God loves impossible situations. By what I read in the Bible, He seems to revel in them. So the question is, "How BIG is my God?" If He wants me there He will work it out. End of story.

As I was driving to work thinking about all these things and feeling sad that I wouldn't see Lauryn in her costume again this year, this verse came up on the CD player. Once again I was blind-sided by just the right scripture at just the right time. It reached my ears and then my eyes with tears as I pictured Paul writing this from his prison cell.

I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. Ephesians 3:16-21

Lately I find I am alternating between two states of being. Like the Israelites after passover, I am ready to bolt, bags packed, walking stick by the door. Watching for the shadow at the door. Other times I am content to burrow in like a sand crab. Life like that sometimes and it's okay.

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

I posted a prayer to go with this verse and lo and behold, I hit a key stroke and POOF! It was gone.....So God will have to go with Me here and I will have to rest in Him alone. So the words remain in my heart and God knows how I feel.....

He remains my strength when I feel ill-equipped....

God is still God

We sometimes ask, does God still do miracles? Where is the God that parted the Red Sea? The One who caused manna to rain from Heaven, each day a fresh new supply for those wanderers in the desert. Where is the One who led captive Israel out of bondage....sending them away with parting gifts from Pharaoh? The One who raised Lazarus from the dead, and healed the centurian's daughter with only a spoken word? Fed the 5,000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish?

From time to time we may forget, but those who work in the trenches know. He is still here and He has not changed. Yesterday at church we had a live feed from Africa, where a missionary couple has been serving for several years now. They have settled in a small predominantly muslim village. Life in this area had all but dried up and blown away, since it had not rained there for 9 years. Shortly after they got there they held a meeting for the people and local leaders, some of whom were muslim clergy. They were wary, since Christianity has been met with hostility and persecution in this area, but all went well. They held a prayer service that night and one of the things they prayed for was rain. As he was seeing everyone off after the service, it clouded up and began to pour, ending a 9 year drought. The locals called him "man who has rain" after that night.

He assured him that he had no special power over the weather, but that the God he serves does! There is great persecution in these parts of the world and he told several stories that are unimaginable to us here in America. One man was hung by his wrists to a tree and the backs of his legs were severely beaten because he would not renounce his Christian faith. By the time he was rescued, his legs were mangled beyond repair. The hospital said he would never walk again due to severity of the damage. When this missionary went there to see him, with tears streaming down his face he said, "I am sorry brother, that you had to go through this!" The man said, "Don't feel pity for me because I never felt the presence of Jesus closer to me as when I was suffering." The missionary prayed for an impossible healing, and God heard from Heaven. The man who they said would never walk again walked out of that hospital.
YES, God is still God. And He is the same yesterday, today and forever!
There were many more stories of miraculous escape, provision and rescue and I am sure we could all add our own! So I add to my list of gratitude today that God is still changing lives, still "Emmanuel" God with us.

Thankful today that:

87. He willingly left the Halls of Heaven to come down here to this mess of a planet.
88. He reduced Himself to a baby in a manger in order to redeem us and bring us back into fellowship with Him.
89. He willingly died a terrible death He didn't deserve so that I might live.
90. He ascended back to Heaven with the hope that we all follow Him there.
91. Not only that, but He gave us the seal of the Holy Spirit, the promise of redemption, to live in this body so that I can be equipped to do His work successfully!
92. He sent death packing.
93. He prays for me even now.
94. He has given the assurance in His Word that all this is true.
95. He hears my prayers.
96. He is as closer to me than my own breath.
97. He will never leave me or forsake me, no matter what happens, His presence will always be there.
Counting toward my 1000 blessings, I continue with others at:

A Kinder World

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

I feel as if I have discovered a treasure, on another blog I came across the writings of J.R. Miller. I tried to backtrack and find it so I could thank them but in all my online wanderings yesterday I lost track of where I was. He writes about something I have been working on in myself lately, being less critical and more kind. He uses the word "forbearance." He has this to say:

"If we resent every apparent injustice, demand the righting of every little wrong, and insist upon chafing, and uttering our feelings at every infinitesimal grievance, and if all the other parties in the circle claim the same privilege--what miserable beings we shall all be, and how wretched life will become! But there is a more excellent way. The Spirit of Christian love inculcated in the New Testament will, if permitted to reign in each heart and life, produce fellowship without a jar or break." And I love what he says about how "Christ puts a veil over our faults."

A popular Christian author/speaker once challenged herself to not say one negative thing for a day. I can't recall who it was, but she ended up being silent for the better part of the day.

I asked my Mom, "Did the world seem a kinder place when you were growing up?" She says, emphatically, "Yes!" I am talking about general terms here, because it is easy to romanticize the past, since we are no longer in it. But she says groups of teenagers, sometimes as many as 20 would go to the beach on a bus and nobody would even think of doing anything malicious. The boys treated the girls like gentlemen, and nobody got drunk or high. Everyone danced with everyone else, and they all looked out for each other. Wow. You could actually walk around in the middle of the night and have no fear. Kids respected not only their own parents, but the parents of their friends.

It is sometimes very hard to be kind. My friend took her Alzheimer's afflicted mother to the store the other day. Her mom gets very sharp and unkind and leaves things she doesn't want out of place, and argues about what she needs and doesn't need. She has to go in the same entrance every time, otherwise she stands in the store and turns circles, lost. My friend is a master at the "soft answer" that turns away wrath, by God's grace. It's not easy, but it's right.

In a world that sometimes seems very harsh, a kind act stands out and has the power to stop us in our tracks. I am now surprised when a young man holds a door for me...SORRY I miss this! I try to be nice to anyone in customer service, they have a tough job. My Mom has only two "people categories" either nice or not nice. I think there is some truth to that.

Security

You can't even turn on the news anymore without hearing something about how terrible the economy is. They would have us believe that we are on the brink of financial ruin, and people are queueing up to jump off the tallest building they can find. While the situation is troubling, it is not hopeless. I refuse to be swept up in the fear mongering frenzy. I challenge anyone to get into any restaurant in my area on a Friday or Saturday night without a minimum of a 45 minute wait! Yes people are cutting back, being more careful; but we are not standing in bread lines yet.

No doubt about it, the world we live in right now is a scary place. And I admit I have been pulled in somewhat to the unease that seems to permeate everything around us. This is a weakness for me, and I sometimes wonder whether I have placed more value on the "safety and security" that my job provides than God intends. This is a temptation for all of us in very large companies. They tend to make us feel like we can't do without them. I have to fight this constantly.

BUT: The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run into it and are safe. (Proverbs 18:10)This is where REAL safety lies.

AND: Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9) This is where I find true security.

But has God really called us to a "safe, secure life?" The early Christians had no such thing. They had danger lurking around every corner, unrest, possible prison, homelessness, in some cases illness, torture, not to mention ridicule. I struggle with this....I love safety and security, I love my home and that the payment is low, I love that I know exactly how much money will show up in my account every two weeks, and that I can pay my bills. But I also know where it comes from and who it is that really sustains me. With grateful heart I thank Him for His blessings, and that I can bless others, knowing that someday I may need that "hand up."

Ultimately, I rest in this verse: "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." Philippians 4:12

Leaving my "self" at the door

Autumn gate by Thomas Kinkade

Happy are they who throw themselves with bowed head and closed eyes into the arms of the "Father of Mercies," and the "God of all consolation," as St. Paul said! There is only one way to love God: to take not a single step without Him, and to follow with a brave heart wherever He leads. All those who live the Christian life, and yet would very much like to keep a little in with the world, run great risk of being among the lukewarm of whom it is said they will be "spewed out of the mouth of God." Taken from "Devotional Classics"
Sobering words by Francois Fenelon

The Christian life for me is a constant process of moving myself out of the way, and letting God take over. Today I started to pray when I realized that I was tripped up by my own "self." It was something I had to correct as soon as God brought it to my attention. As soon as I started thinking about how much time I would put in and how much would be acceptable to God, the battle was lost. I had made a religious "thing" out of it. It's like this: How would you feel as a parent if you knew your child was only spending time with you because they felt they "should" but not because they wanted to. Forgive me, Lord for all those times I try to playact with You.
I paused, I reflected, I started over with a purer heart. Then my prayer time became what it was supposed to be once again. A place where I connect to the Creator of Heaven and Earth, and He connects with me. What a privelege, what a unspeakable gift!

If the Holy Spirit is our gateway to the throne of God, then prayer is certainly the pathway through that gate. Thankfully, the omnipotence of God is tempered with love and grace otherwise we would not be able to stand in His presence......

“Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” Hebrews 4:16.