When heavy hearts give thanks

Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus......1 Thessalonians 5:18


I have misheard and misunderstood this Scripture and caused myself much grief, packing a load on myself I was never meant to carry. I have had to remind myself that it doesn't say to be thankful FOR for circumstance, but IN the circumstance. So today, I offer up thanks to a God who is worthy of all my gratitude, all the time.

Thank you Lord that even when our hearts are hurting, the fountain of thankfulness still somehow keeps bubbling up. I woke up at around 2:30 and the first thing that popped into my mind was the line to the song that says:

Oh no, you never let go, through the calm and through the storm.......

Thank you for the twinkling lights outside my window for they remind me of what and who I am celebrating, and for the love of a friend who put them up when I know that all she wanted to do was put this Christmas on fast forward.....not the reason of it, for that she clings to, but all the stuff that goes along with it.

In her loss this season she still thinks of how she can make others happy, so she put the timer on so that I would see them when I left for work. That kind of heart is what makes the Lord happy.

That king of gratitude when it isn't easy is like shaking our fist in Satan's face.

Thank you Lord, for an Aunt who calls me even when she is going through her own kind of loss this year once again with her husband in a rest home....she misses her old life, but still she waves the flag of gratitude because she has her health and that she can see him each day.

And most of the time, he is in a good mood.

Thank you Lord, for the classical station that actually came in this morning as I was driving to work. Those notes filled out a hollowed out place in my soul that I didn't realize was there until I heard it. It lifted me, made me better somehow. I believe that's what good music should do.

And thank you that things at work are relatively calm right now. We are in between processes and winding down so I can have time to relax at my station and I really need that right now.

Especially now.

I feel fatigued today, Lord. I need those wings of eagles to lift me up.....in fact I can feel them now. I already feel better. And send a big eagle for Elaine. She needs one worse.

Sincerely, your girl.

Gratitude as a way of thinking

 

"The LORD will guard your going out and your coming in From this time forth and forever." Psalm 121:8

As I went about from window to window the other night closing the house up, my heart was seized with gratitude.....of having a home to come to, a warm place and a refuge from the noisy world. "Why me?" I thought, "when so many others have no home, no place to go?" Safety for them is a far-off dream, something other people have.

I could have been born any place at all but I was born here in America. The land of blessing.

It's so easy to be Thankful when things are going well, but how thankful am I when things aren't?

Gratitude, as I have learned, is more than simply feeling grateful, it's a way of thinking. That no matter what happens, there is a reason for it because when we have God, we still have everything.

And it doesn't mean you are doing a happy dance when things are falling apart around you. It means that you know deep inside who is ultimately in control and that you trust in His love because He has already saved your life, past present and future.

And when that terrible thing happened He wasn't looking the other way.

And if you want to hear the best answer to a question I have heard so many people ask when prayers don't go their way? You really need to go here and read this gem, by Duane Scott.

The thing that causes hearts to go darker than anything else is Lack of gratitude........"For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened. Romans 1:21

And today, I am also linking up with Ann at Holy Experience because she is the one that actually got me started with writing my gratitude down on paper and teaching me a new way to see.

Grateful for my home each and every day.......and that I have a job so I can help others.....for laughter in church.....friends at work who are like lights in the darkness......fixed cars that run like tops......thankful the driver behind me the other night was paying attention when the whole freeway stopped......formerly unknown people who I now count as dear friends thanks to FB, yes, FB.....pumpkin pie for breakfast......steaming cups of comfort to wrap hands around....being totally lazy on a day off.....a great day yesterday. #945-956

And for a great way you can build hope for children in Haiti, click on the Help One Now button on my sidebar, where just a little can go a long way. Blessings my friends, Lori

Why I took a break, and why I'm back

Sometimes the blogging world gets noisy. And sometimes you even forget why you blog. And you go to a post where you feel you have held your heart out to the world...painfully so, and you get no comments. And you are disappointed. Even though you know you aren't writing for:

Accolades......Comments......Validation.....and those are all good things, that was never my motivation.

And you read all these wonderful other blogs, and you feel like your voice is just one more and it's not quite as beautiful, as esthetically pleasing....as skillful, as creative....fill in the blank.

A scribbling on a blank piece of paper could save your life, if it is just what you need to hear in that moment. 

I have also been mad at the "blogger" platform. Different reasons. All of a sudden my playlist didn't work. It won't start playing right when you open my blog. I thought I had it set up to do so, but I still can't get it to work right.

When I noticed myself scrolling to comments right away? That's when I knew I had lost my way. I needed to remember Who I was blogging for and why I started in the first place.

Only three reasons, but they are big ones. God, the Word, and You the readers.

I have been going through some changes myself, and no doubt this blog will change with me. Change is a good thing. But the one thing about this blog that will never change is the message. It is a little four letter word but it means the world.....and it's what the world needs right now:

Hope.

And I realized another thing. My little voice means something, and so does yours.

And after all, how many voices are too many for praise to the living God?

This year has been tough, and it still is. Going on two years of care taking and it takes its toll no doubt about it. But Elaine and I are still laughing despite the circumstances. And now I am going through some other things personally, physical changes which I have talked about here.

And even when the moods are incredibly dark? The amazing thing is that at unexpected moments I have this absurd joy. It just won't stop, because God has me. And He has you too, no matter what else is going on in your life. Because each and every one of us has circumstances we have to deal with. Those will never go away.

But neither will God.

That, my friends is my main message. And this morning, as if to highlight what I was feeling, this song came on and it said: Let my life song sing to you.

Let my life song sing to you. And you and you.

And like those stones along the road to Jerusalem that would not be silent?  I will never ever stop praising Him, because He is worthy.

The Big Ticket

As we approach the ticket counter to US airways I am staggered at the amount of people in line. There are always a lot of people at the airport here in Phoenix since it is an international hub, but this......this is crazy. The line was so long they had to split it up into two groups, parted like the red sea.

They were all wearing the same expressions of worry and anxiety, and now so was I. It dawned on us that this must be because of diverted flights due to Hurricane Sandy. Everyone was orderly and somewhat calm. TSA has effectively whipped us huddled masses into submission like recaltritant children. I looked at them all, jostling kids, bags, nerves, and me right among them.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Matthew 9:36


I still had time, but would it be enough? We went out to curbside and there was a line but not nearly as bad. I bantered with two ladies going back home to Toronto about our general complaints of the airlines. How they are charging for every little thing.

I punched my confirmation number in the little space on the screen and my ticket was spit out the bottom. I clutched it as any apprehensive flyer does. It had my name on it, a little bit of peaceful assurance in a scrap of paper. My seat was 9F.

Upstairs it was more of the same. Everywhere, people scrambling to get home or leave home.The line was four deep going through security. I passed the Canadian ladies again. One of them asked, "How did you get ahead of us?" And we laughed.

I reached for the bin, filling it up with everything I could take off.....scarf, shoes, belt, metal jewelry, sweater. I was motioned into the infamous TSA scanner......Arms up and hold please. The evil scanner. Will I ever get used to this?

Put my heart under Your scanner Lord. Tell me what I am doing wrong....... "Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts" Psalm 139:23

I thought of how at first, I had refused to fly. On justifiable grounds of gross invasion of privacy. Just the topic would sent me into a fit and quoting the first amendment. And now I just go through like everyone else. Just one of the cattle.

I clutch my ticket, make all my calls, and settle in for the boarding announcement. I think of myself, one who dreams often of being in the wrong place, or late, or being six months behind for a class and realizing I have not turned in one assignment. Its always so important for me to be in the right place at the right time.

I scan my boarding pass for the 5th or sixth time, noting the boarding time, the zone number.

I think about that other ticket, to that most important of places. The ticket I clutch even more tightly as the years go by, my Bible. The Words of God. That's one trip I want to be prepared for more than any other. The Holy Spirit is my deposit. I lean back in the seat and breathe deep. Thankful.

I won't be late because it's all in His timing.

".......and he has identified us as his own by placing the Holy Spirit in our hearts as the first installment that guarantees everything he has promised us." 2 Corinthians 1:22

Alzheimer's Diary.....A continuing lesson in love

And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Colossians 3:14

I have probably tacked this verse onto the beginning of posts more often this year than any other. Have you put on your love today? This past year, I have had to start over time after time, day after day. As most of you know who read my blog on a regular basis, we are working on year two of Elaine's Mom living with us.

It's been tough, to say the least. Hygiene is an ongoing issue more and more. We are working on week 4 with no shower, again. The last time, Elaine had to physically get in the shower with her because she refused to put water on her head. And she was washing with shampoo. Incontinence is also a problem. She refuses to wear the undergarments so bedding has to be changed often....laundry done several times a day.

Because she has been increasingly combative, her dose of Anti-psych drug was doubled just this past week. We noticed the rage has been just barely contained....it's always just under the surface. The pacing and the agitation seem to go hand in hand.

It is disheartening and sobering for Elaine to realize that right now if her Mom were not on the Seroquel she would be in a lock down unit as we speak. Her Mom still knows very well where she is, but when her Doctor tells her that if she won't let people take care of her she has to go somewhere where they can, he is met with indifference, a shrug of her shoulders.

It has been a constant challenge for both of us to do that "putting on love" thing Paul is talking about. And I am on another trip to California to see my family on Sunday. It's hard to be the one always left behind. For two years, she has had to watch others travel, go on weekend trips, vacations. That is what caretakers face every day.......for them life has stopped. They feel just as chained as if they were in stocks.

And how can life still feel like it's at a standstill, when the workload never stops?

Please pray? For wisdom, and strength to bear up. To keep laughing somehow. To know when to say "when."

Pray for strength and grace for me as well. That I can be the right kind of support. Too often I feel like the check marks on my own personal report card are screaming out a big red "fail." But God knows my heart, thankfully.

I take comfort in the fact that He hears my prayers of forgiveness uttered after every exasperated blown out sigh......He knows we are all dust after all, nevertheless a kernel of God keeps us all preserved for eternity.

Praise God.

And more and more and more, we are craving the peace, the harmony that used to fill the house. We still have it for the most part, we just have to fight for it where before it was effortless.

Here is the magic formula that works for any and every situation:

Love + Peace = Harmony

I will need until every last breath to put it into practice.

When Church Happens

He canceled the record of the charges against us and took it away by nailing it to the cross. Colossians 2:14

I went to church but I didn't go all the way in. To be honest, I just didn't feel like hearing another sermon. I have heard it all before. I have sat and filled in the blanks dutifully, like one more task I have to check off. Done. On to the next thing.

I miss the interaction. I miss how at my old church they would ask if anyone had a burden, a need. And then others standing by would surround them, touch them, hands like gentle doves lighting on shoulders, backs........ and the Pastor would pray. Sometimes they would cry and we would want to cry too. There is something powerful about the laying on of hands.....passing the Spirit from one to another.

It unifies us all.

Somehow I can't escape the feeling that we are leaving with our burdens intact. There might be a burning need right next to me, and I would never know it. An inner cry for help like a dial tone unanswered.

We leave as the islands we are. Untouched. Still carrying the heavy load.

I wonder and not for the first time if the Spirit is not quenched with all our organization. Just one Sunday I wish the Pastor would stop and say, "Now everyone turn to your neighbor, not the one you came with, the one you don't know, and pray for each other for 15 minutes."

And I miss the altar call. Some say it's just not needed anymore. It makes people feel embarrassed, singled out. But I disagree. I feel like it's what draws us all in, and holds us together. Makes us remember when we were the one propelled out of our seat, and how that aisle looked impossibly long.

And when it was just you and the Lord, and no one else. And somehow, you know that this one thing, this one moment will change the course of your eternal destiny. What in the world matters more than that? I believe churches are robbing their congregations when they take this Holy moment away.

Don't get me wrong. I believe in the church more than ever. When I miss it, something is wrong. But I also think that church happens more often than not after we leave the building.

As we sat yesterday with old friends, listening to all they have been through since we had last seen them I felt church happen with the exchange of tears. When she said she was finally getting help in dealing with the death of their little boy. That little boy who was their whole world and in some ways still is.

I can see how that little boy is so alive to them still. And how if he knew what a shadow his death made on their marriage, how sad he would be. I wish I would have told her that if he knew his Mommy was finally getting help, that he would smile from Heaven.

We talked of how it will never go away, he will never go away. But you learn to make some kind of peace with it. And go on for others who still need you.

Church happens when love happens, and not just on Sunday. But over coffee, in between classes, in parking lots, in school buses, everywhere God is.

It happens when we remember the Cross and what was done on it, for us. And that every single thing we bear in this life, He already dealt with.

It was nailed to the cross when He was.

In light of that, we stand at the edge of eternity every day. And with each day, no matter what we have to handle, our gratitude can't help but grow.

We just can't stop counting the gifts. Join me today? And Ann at Holy Experience here.



The Bee Lesson

After morning prayer I went out into the garden, hoping to catch a small breeze. It is August in Arizona, truly the dog days of summer. Eighty degrees this morning at 6 a.m. I sat and noticed that the bees were up early too. Doing their best to pollinate every last Okra bloom. I sat and watched them going about their business, doing what bees do.

Really it was a form of meditation, watching them.....and there is one thing I thought about as I kept watching.

They don't have to set an alarm to get up.
 
They don't decide they aren't going to work a certain day.
 
They just rise with the light and go, without question or thought.

And do.

What a lesson I can learn from them about residing in Christ. I tend to wrestle and war with my emotions with every decision. Everything becomes big. Stress rises within me. I lose the peace.

Jesus was kind of like those bees the garden. He got up at first light, and went about doing good. He did what His Father had created Him to do, and He did it perfectly. And my own lesson here, the one Jesus tries everyday to teach me, is that I can do the same.

I can get up and just rest in Jesus, knowing that He is willing and able to carry out the work He would have me do. And perfectly. All I have to do is take the first step, and keep walking along the path He wants me to walk that day.

And instead of striving..........I can just be.

Like the bees.....and Jesus.

"Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth" Psalms 46:10

"Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS." Matthew 11:29

"And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:7

Counting the gifts once again......Thankful for the bee lesson today......a great day yesterday......moments where I forget to strive and live instead.....new shoes......physical health......a connection made once again with old friends......technology that makes spreading the Word into all the earth possible......froth on my steaming cup of coffee......fresh batch of library books coming.....#933-944

Radical Love

 

"Behold, I am the LORD, the God of all flesh; is anything too difficult for Me?" Jeremiah 32:27

A Morning Prayer

 

 

God, you are the Lord......and great is Your name. All it takes is once brief glance at the Heavens and I know it. Your name is above every name, above all life and everything that moves upon the earth. You are worthy........You alone are to be praised.

 

Nothing is too difficult for you, no wrong is so wrong that it can't be made right again.

 

When I think that you would turn your attention to me, even for a moment, my heart fills with wonder and gratitude. Not only did you turn your attention to me, you put those unimaginable thought into loving, terrible and radical action.

 

When you died for me.

 

I need no more proof than that, of how great Your love is for me.

 

Amen.

 

 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

Change a comin......

The relentless heat has tired us all out, even the birds. The desert is waiting for change, waiting to be relieved from the oppressive grip of summer which will surely come, it always does. Just not when we're ready. In the desert, you live by its rules, not your own. But there are ever so slight whispers of it nonetheless.

This morning I sat outside and there was a breeze and it was bearable. Enjoyable. I sat there thanking the Lord for moments of peace and time off after a challenging work week. The garden yielded a beautiful watermelon yesterday. When I think that this patch of green was a patch of dirt not too long ago, I think of what God does with our lives, that is when we let Him.

Elaine is off to Texas for a few days for a cherished and much anticipated visit with her Aunt Billie Ruth and her cousin Sandra. Billie Ruth is 88 years young, still active doing tours for local historical buildings and spending hours in the library doing genealogy research for others.

I have been alone with Elaine's Mom and it has been interesting. She keeps asking where Elaine is, and I keep giving the same answer. We are both learning steps to a new dance, neither one is us sure of the steps. But so far, so good. The hygiene issue is ongoing though, and I never thought I would be thankful for the absence of the sense of smell, but at times like this it does come in handy.

Work is stressful right now, and though I have a few days off now, work looms large on Thursday. The biggest challenge? How can I glorify the Lord in a place where I am fearful and anxious?

I feel it sapping my emotional, mental, and creative strength, nipping at my heels even when I am not there. And even though I am so very thankful for this time off that replenishes, Thursday feels like a steamroller and each day brings me closer to its flattening shadow.

Yet, when I think of all that the Lord has brought me through there from my very first day until now, and how He has been with me with every step, it humbles me greatly.

This will be my seventeenth year there, and while there have been countless anxiety ridden moments and nights where I have tossed and turned with worry, there have also been countless victories, and God has brought me some wonderful friends I would never have met otherwise. Friends who I know will be with me for life.

All along, each worry and fear has been calmed and tempered by His gracious Spirit who has been with me every moment, and with me still. Somehow He always keeps the wave from engulfing me totally and until such time as I am able to walk out the door for good, I want to be faithful with what He has given me.

The only possible way is by leaning on Him. Totally.

And to keep a count of all the good, and there is much that is..........cool morning breezes, whispers of rain that hit my window, fresh melon from the garden, Elaine being able to make this trip, that my niece loves her new school, a wonderful Birthday, telephone conversations with friends and family that always lift spirits, fresh batch of books via Amazon, His daily grace raining down even when I don't deserve it, words that somehow come together, time off........always grateful for that. #922-932

Home.......

Please enjoy this beautiful video and song by David Nevue.....the theme at church yesterday was "Homecoming," and how God is always watching and waiting for us to come home to Him. Oh how He longs to welcome us with open arms, just as the father of that long lost son. I can just imagine how he went to that window every day and night, hoping to see a lone figure walking up the road, hoping that it was his lost son, and the joy when that day finally came.....Luke 15:11-32

And always, as you listen to this song, give a prayer of gratitude in your minds.....count the thanks along with me and Ann Voskamp, here........



A bus filled with blessing

They are like trees planted along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither, and they prosper in all they do. Psalm 1:3

She had almost forgotten about the application she had filled out for the bus driving position......almost but not quite. She was sitting by the computer when the phone lit up with an incoming call. The phone is turned all the way down so her Mom won't run and answer it. In the past she had agreed to things over the phone "Oh, yes, you can come and service the air conditioner...." It has happened before.

It was the Apache Junction school district calling. She couldn't believe her ears when he said, "How soon can you come in and see us?" For years, every now and then we would pass a bus and I would hear her say, "I would love to do that."

For the past year and a half, her Mom has been her full time job, and it has been hard, especially for someone who has worked all their life.

So she went, and of course they loved her. Especially when they found out about her driving experience. They wanted her so badly they even pulled strings to get her in the August session of training.

And the schedule is such that she can come home between routes to check on her Mom........and, it's only just around the corner!

"This," she said, "Is the first job that I have felt in a long time that is from God."

I have waited for this, I have prayed for this.....for my dear friend who lives her whole life for others.

Whose hands are still partially numb from her last project for someone else.

Last night we sat at a restaurant as pictures came through my phone......there were two completed Mr. Potato heads, one my brother did and one my niece did. I smiled as I read the texts. "Sometimes, you just have to take time out to play Mr. Potato head with your girl," he says.

As I scroll through, the phone rings in my hand and it's my Mom.

"I was just having a glass of wine and thinking of you," she said. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing," she said, and she laughed. "Well," I said, "I happen to think it's a good thing, since I am having one too." And we laughed together and she told me about her day. And I told her about Elaine's new job.....

She whooped and hollered over the phone........."Oh, that is so great! She is just right for that job."

Later I get a text from my brother. My Mom must have told him....."CONGRATULATIONS to Elaine, Wooooooohooooooo. Bus driver for kids? Perfect. I am so happy."

This, I think, is what it's all about.

Rejoicing with those who rejoice. And I think of what a cornucopia is life. Some days so full of hardship you just want to sit in a corner and never come out, and then, blessings so rich that all you can do is lift your hands skyward.

Praise God from who all blessings flow.

Are you ready?

From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him.“You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve. Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and to know that you are the Holy One of God.” John 6:66-69


I had just finished reading John chapter 6 during my prayer time a few mornings ago. I closed my eyes as I digested all I had read......this chapter is swirling with action. I needed to reflect for a moment on all I had read. It was just getting light out and I heard a dove calling from a few houses away. My little candle was flickering away silently casting a reflection in the little shop window.

I was surprised by a question that was breathed into my heart.....I had just read that saddest of verses, the one where many of Jesus disciples hit the road. It was another instance where Jesus had just finished confounding people with the truth, and it wasn't want they wanted to hear.

"Are you ready to be my Disciple?" that was the question I heard.

I sat there conflicted. "Of course I am," I thought. But then I remembered how many of them ended up.

And what was required. Am I ready to take a plunge off a 500 foot drop? Am I ready to commit the rest of my life to a God who commands the wind and the rain? Who can speak the world into existence? Who is many times unpredictable and scary? Am I ready to go wherever He asks? Wherever He leads?

Then I thought about life itself. If someone would have asked me when I came into this world, knowing what I know now, all I would go through, would I have so been quick to say, "Bring it on?"  I most likely would  have said no, I am not ready. Who is ever ready? 

But do I want to do it anyway, also knowing what I know now? And has it been worth it thus far?

To that I can give a resounding, and emphatical "Yes."

God, in His great wisdom, chooses to bring us through a bit at a time. He allows some pain for growth, but also baptizes us with joy and wraps us in His love and comfort through His Holy Spirit.

That is where I stand today and rejoice along with the 12, for as Peter so rightly said,  "To where would we go?"

Indeed.

Thank you Lord, for giving me the chance at this wonderful adventure of following you. Everything this world has to offer pales in comparison to what You have to give. Amen

In the Refiner's Fire

"I indeed baptize you with water unto repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing fan is in His hand, and He will thoroughly clean out His threshing floor, and gather His wheat into the barn; but He will burn up the chaff with unquenchable fire." Matthew 3:11,12

Thank you Lord, for my devotion time this morning. Thank you for Your Loving Presence today. Your Spirit holds my sins up to the light exposing them for what they are, so that I can confess them before you honestly and draw near to you once again.

Thank you for knowing the real me and loving me anyway.  Sometimes I don't know how your Spirit, your Holy and perfect Spirit can tolerate living with mine, still so filled with the world and all its griefs, cares and worries.

Help my fears diminish, Lord, so I can be filled with your perfect love that your peace may take its rightful place in my heart.

And help me to see the small trials I go through in this life as Your refiner's fire of love burning away all my impurities. In all the things we could ever hope to accomplish in this life, there is only this one thing that counts.

That we know you

and in knowing you, we find our true purpose in this life.

I lift the gifts to you today Lord, in gratitude of all you give and keep giving.........The wonderful rain that poured down in this dry desert.......worship that comes in little spontaneous moments throughout the day.......a little extra money this month.......God's continued protection when I don't even know it......melons and okra sprouting like wildfire in the garden........a good day yesterday.......seeing old friends again.......music that upliftts and burns hot in the soul in praise to God......answered prayer for a first day of school......a good walk this morning......911-921

Stewards of His word.....

Then the Lord stretched out His hand and touched my mouth, and the Lord said to me.......

See, I have appointed you this day over the nations and over the kingdoms, to pluck up and to break down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.......

And the word of the Lord came to me saying, "What do you see, Jeremiah?" And I said, "I see a rod of almond tree."

Then the Lord said to me........"You have seen well, for I am watching over my word to perform it." Jeremiah 1:9-12

As I read these passages the thought came to me, "All of us who are writers are stewards of God's words are we not?" It is extremely humbling. As I read these passages, it hit me. Those of us who write about the things of God need to be accountable for those words, not only what we say but how we say them.....

Today I am linking up with Duane Scott. He has some powerful and timely words that I wanted to share.......

Blessings and peace for your Monday, counting my Gratitude as well.

Why aren't we working at our passion?

Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before......1 Thessalonians 4:11

Maybe it is the line of work I am in, but everywhere I go I hear it, "If I won the lottery I would do such and such......" most of the time, they would not be doing what they are doing now. What they are doing now is putting in time, just like me. They work at something that is not their passion and yet due to economic reasons they can't quit.

All over the world, there are hoards of us going to work already mentally exhausted. We want to get to the end of the week.....and why?  Because we are not working at something that gives us any true satisfaction. For that we have the weekend. We do the things we love on our days off.

Tomorrow, a co-worker and I will both return to work after being on vacation. I can speak for myself and I think for her as well when I say that we would both rather be somewhere else. We work in a highly competitive field, that of technology. The entire culture is built around being better, faster and cheaper than our competitors. And that ideology trickles down to us, the employees.

We feel we have lost our value. Our identity.

We can never be satisfied with what we were last year, last month, last week. That can really wreak havoc on your mental state. This is not to say that we don't appreciate our jobs, we do. Each day I thank God for the job He has given me, and yet each day I ask myself,  how can I glorify God in my workplace when I am in the midst of burnout?

And why do so many work all their lives to retirement in jobs that they feel passionless about?

What is it about the American dream that is so alluring, so compelling, that we are willing to sacrifice what we love on its altar in order to get it? I have owned very beautiful homes, one of them in a pine forest on a custom lot with three stories reaching to the sky. But the truth is, this little two bedroom place has felt more like home.

I have learned to be content with less. I have grown close to the Lord here, it is a happy, peaceful place.

This week I will spend 48 hours of my life at work. It is 48 hours I will never get back. I think about all the people I have heard who have quit their day jobs and followed their passions. I remember the story of the big CEO who lost his job, went to work at Starbucks, found his life, and wrote a bestselling book about it.

By writing this post I am acting on my passion, but the challenge remains, how do I put that same passion into what I will be doing for 12 hours tomorrow?

Again I think, we were made for more than this.

We were made for abundant life................Jesus promised it.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. John 10:10

Free Indeed

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

 

Today I got to enjoy something not everybody does.

In fact, many people in the world could only dream of what I got to do. 

I got to get up free from fear.

I didn't have to worry about someone taking my life.

Or the life of someone I care about.

 

And last night as I went to sleep,

I didn't have to fear someone coming in and taking what was mine,

or harming those I love.

I got to sleep in safety and security.

 

I got to get in my car and enjoy knowing it would start.

Because I have a job that allows me to take care of it.

Put gas in it.

 

And I got to drive to work.

Many people now don't have that luxury,

that freedom.

 

And I got to do all these things feeling good.

Not sick.

Some people have to work sick or in pain

because they are afraid they will lose

their jobs if they don't go in.

 

Then next week, I will get on a plane

and fly away to see family.

 

When some people have so many responsibilies

they can't ever take time off.

 

But the biggest thing I am grateful for,

that is, next to living in this great country.......

 

is the freedom that Jesus gives me each and every day.

The freedom that He bought for me

with His very own life.......in light of that great fact,

 

there is always something to be grateful for.

 

"Sin is no longer your master, for you no longer live under the requirements of the law. Instead, you live under the freedom of God’s grace." Romans 6:1

The Gift of Laughter

A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones. Proverbs 17:22

Have you ever seen someone sitting together in a restaurant and they look like they never ever laugh? I was blessed enough to have been raised in a household where laughter was always present. I truly believe it is one of the best gifts a parent can pass onto a child.

My Dad and I got in trouble for laughing when we weren't supposed to. My Mom used to separate us in church. Invariably we would see the same exact thing and that would start an avalanche of uncontrollable laughter. We went to a very somber Baptist church. I think they really thought laughter was a sin, and especially laughing in church.

The church I attend now, actually sometimes uses props and videos from comedians.

Sure there is plenty to be serious about these days. But there are plenty of things to laugh at as well, just look around!

My best friend and I laugh at something just about every day, though we disagree just a bit on what is funny, and I admit, my humor could be considered sick by some. I think it's funny when people fall down or trip over carpets. But only if someone doesn't get hurt. I figure if someone is doing a stunt on their own volition, then I have the right to laugh at them. Hey, I laugh when I fall down too.

Let's face it, Charlie Chaplin didn’t get to be a star because he shot out one liners, but because he fell a lot.

Humor is one of the greatest gifts God gave us. To be able to laugh at ourselves means you can shrug off the stuff that you shouldn’t waste time on, so that you can take the really big stuff that happens seriously enough to be able to get through it with grace and God’s help.

My folks have been married for 62 years are are still laughing.

I called them from work the other day and they were just coming home from having the car fixed. Instead of their Minivan they were in the old Bronco. My Mom had nothing to hold onto to get in the car so my Dad was trying to push her from behind. He was laughing, and I could hear her in the background, “just get your hands off me, I can get in just fine.” Then I heard her start to laugh. They both started laughing so hard they had to hang up.

This is why I love them, and one of the reasons they have been together so long. Young couples starting out could learn a lot from them.

Many people in the Bible laughed, and there are references about God laughing. I think Jesus must have found humor in many things on this earth. I love to think what His laughter sounded like.

Laughter is the best gift.......Share it with someone today.

Then pass it on. Counting the gifts and the promises today.......

#933-945......Laughter, birds out back in the fountain, a new artichoke, okra reaching toward sky, peace in the garden, cloudy arizona skies, watching wimbledon on a lazy morning, fresh coffee brewing, full-bodied praise, upcoming trip to see family, technology that allows face to face conversation, all my blogger friends.....

A day in the life.....

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful!

For those of you who have been keeping up with this blog, you know the situation with Elaine's Mom. Each day comes with its own challenges and the heat provides another. And when I work, there is always a story to come home to, last night was no exception. Since the heat has set in, the challenge has been to keep Joyce inside after around 11. The outside swing as been her safe place, but now with the barometer climbing to 110 in the shade, it is far too hot. Yet now her mind doesn't make the connection that it is too hot.

For some strange reason, she has no inclination to go out when it is bearable in the morning, so Elaine kindly reminds her that if she wants to go out, she has to go in the morning.  Now anytime after noon, there is  a wooden board across it,  complete with sign......"Too hot to sit outside."

This makes her Mom angry as you might expect.

Yesterday she was more disoriented than usual. In the morning she asked if she could have coffee. Later, she asked how many brothers and sisters she had. After Elaine told her 9, she then asked how many were left. Elaine told her, "3" and her Mom started crying. She then wanted to talk to her sister, Faye, who has been gone for about 6 years. When Elaine told her she had passed away, she cried again.

This went on for about an hour or more. Joyce kept wanting to talk to Faye. Ten minutes later she would ask again. So finally in desperation, she said, "Okay, I will call her." So she called her other sister Shirley in Texas who also has Alzheimers's.

They talked about the same thing for an hour. Needless to say it was a very interesting conversation. They talked about a Nephew that hanged himself and how sad it was that a young kid would get to so desperate as to do such a thing. That young kid was 55, and no telling how long ago this happened.

When I got home, I got the recap.

And yet.......God is faithful. So far we have mostly kept our sanity and sense of humor. I truly don't know how Elaine does it, being with her 24/7.....and yet, I do, I really do.

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3: 12-14

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

I was driving down the freeway when it hit. I felt that familiar feeling........the shallow breathing, the knot of tears forming in my throat. They come sometimes without warning. It started as an ordinary task in an ordinary day. I was following Elaine because she was taking her car in.

I held it at bay, at arms length, because I have to get stuff done. I think it's just life piling up sometimes, and it has to come out somewhere, sometime. I am no stranger to this feeling. It has always been with me.

One of the very first times I can remember was when I caved during a Christmas play at church.

I had one line, I don't even remember what it was. Because all of a sudden all I wanted to do was get off that stage......I strained my eyes through the bright lights and all I wanted was to find my parents. And then I did.

The road blurred through tears. I breathed little puffs of air. I turned off the freeway and onto the street. Off to my right was man on the sidewalk wearing flip-flops, a Hawaiian shirt and shorts....and a guitar strapped around his shoulder. He was carrying on a very animated conversation, with himself.

Laughter bubbled up through the tears a little hysterically, I thought........"I hope that's not gonna be me someday soon."


Then I thought of my childhood friend Mary. Mary of the big blue eyes and wonderful reading voice.


It was always either her or me the teachers chose for reading out loud. I still remember her singing a solo in a school fashion show, she sang "After the Ball" in a blue dress. I don't know what happened with Mary but many years later my folks told me she would skate down the street in a full hockey uniform, helmet and all. She never played hockey a day in her life.


She died recently at my age, only 53. She had a daughter and I would love to see her.  I wonder if she had Mary's eyes, and liked to read. I hope she will be okay.


Don't we all dance a bit close to the border of crazy at times? I think you kind of have to, to live this life we all live.

As I caught sight of Elaine's jeep through the maze of cars, right in the midst of my panic I thought......."Thank you Lord." Because all my life I have never had to go through this feeling alone, and some people have.

And this wonderful friend has been with me through so much. And I will tell her about this, and she will say, "Well, maybe you are a little bit crazy, but I understand, and everything is gonna be fine."

Because after all, God has us. He really does. 

Full bodied praise

I love them that love me.........and those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17

This is when the rubber meets the road.....summer is digging in it's heels and we are no longer greeted with cool mornings. We have to dig in too. And it's not all bad. The desert makes you tough. It's already hot and sticky in my prayer closet this morning.

As I finish my prayer time, I am ready. I live the words as I put on my shoes to make my trek around the park. "No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." 1 Corinthians 9:27

As I walk, feel my body move, I am so thankful I can do this. I think of dear Briley and Kathryn whom I sit with when I volunteer in the Extrordinary Life kids group, bound to wheelchairs. I think they are the real heroes, they, and their dear parents.

I pick up my pace and think of an old Glen Frey song I played a lot when I worked out........for those of you under 40, he was one of the Eagles......the words come back and the years fall away:

I'm outside runnin' in the mornin' sun
No matter what it takes, I know I'm gonna get it done
I'm pushin' up the hill, fightin' through the pain
Everything to lose, everything to gain
I know I'm on my way, I'm on my way to number one

Feelin' good, gettin' tight
'Cause I'm livin' right, livin' right
Up in the mornin', asleep at night
I'm livin' right, livin' right

Out of the darkness, into the light and I'm

livin right, livin right.

I thought of the worship leader yesterday and what he said, why he wears no shoes when he is up there leading the music. He says it reminds him that it's Holy ground he stands on, and it is a way of keeping his focus on the Lord and not on all the people. He said he sees the ones sleeping, and the ones playing games on their Iphones, the halfhearted worshippers.

"For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them." Matthew 18:20

He is right, the ground is Holy.

The sweat is pouring down now, and I hear the words of Mercy Me singing.......

"Separated until the veil was torn.

The moment that hope was born

and guilt was pardoned once and for all.

Captivated but no longer bound by chains

left at an empty grave

the sinner and the sacred resolved

And this is it, this is full bodied praise, right here and now. How right he is, the ground here is Holy. I think, this is what keeps me going. He keeps us, day after day. We have the strength to get up and do it again somehow, carried along by His Spirit.

This is the promise I cling to, and its true: "The Lord preserves all who love Him....." Psalm 145:20

Counting the gifts and the promises today, with these fine folks.......